My Life

My life....

Thats about all I have to say right now

I just got a sudden rush of stress and loneliness and...who knows...

Spring Sing is less than a week away and I feel like Im doing something wrong and things that I feel should be getting done like...yesterday...arent getting done and for some reason thats my fault. Even though I am ready, and waiting, and wanting to get it all done and finished....its not happening. And the frustrating thing is that I cant get these things done alone. Other people have to set aside time to tell me what they want/need in order for me to do my job. Other people have to freaking care. Care that I am about to do a job that no other student has ever freaking done! Care that I am stressing out a little about that!! Care that I need everything to be ready and close to show as possible asap or else I might freak out a little. This is my class, my project, my job...and if I cant do it correctly I fail. I need people to care about that....


So...yeah, what I have to say right now is "My life."

Plus you know on top of the problem just described there are all the other things stressing me out, or whatever they are doing to me. The list right now could go on and on.

Also, I need friends. Not just "oh yeah, I love you, we are friends" kind of friends. I need friends that I make plans with, friends that I actually see and talk to. Friends that I feel like are actually there....

But who am I kidding...when am I going to have time for those kind of friends. I myself am an awful friend, I shouldnt expect anything different from other people.

My Life

Oh me oh my

I have been so bad at updating my blog. Maybe it could be because my laptop doesn't like to connect to the internet anymore. Or maybe because I sometimes forget about it. Or maybe even yet that because by the time my day is done and I'm in bed the only thing I want to do is sleep. Either or all could be true.
What I can state as fact though is that spring sing is pressing Closer and closer, getting nearer and nearer...a good sign that this is happening would be that it is 3.22 and I just got in bed after working on club lighting a good portion of my evening and night.
Oh me oh my. It will be a busy and slightly stressed and adventurous next few weeks. Then school is pretty much over. Just like that.
Over. And then I graduate.
Part of me is kind of glad I'm sticking around for while because maybe then, when I'm not a student and a theatre major, I will actually be able to do the fun social things that most people fill their time at Harding with.
Who knows

As for now though, I need to fill my time with sleep.
Night

1, 2, 3, once upon a time...

We are on piper tour!! wooo!!!!

two days of shows down, and one more day packed full left.

lots of fun, lots of kids, lots of energy

not sure where this was going....so now im done :)

"L is for the way you look at me"...

I am 100% completely in LOVE with my boyfriend!!

Not because our relationship is perfect, and not because either one of us is perfect, but because at the end of the day I wouldnt trade this relationship in for any "what if's" my mind can throw at me.

All the time I am realizing/being shown that he is the man that I want to love, be with, work with, play with...everything with.

I am happy :-)

The Third Week Struggle

Well, it is the third week of school.
This is when by now you have a schedule,
classes are started to assign regular homework,
projects and big things are coming up,
you have gone from missing the last break to waiting for the next one (or at least the next free weekend),

and if you are me

you are moving out of your apartment and into the Frye's house,
your email inbox is starting to fill up with emails you have maybe read, probably scanned, and possibly ignored all together (because you are busy AND mostly because your stupid internet STILL doesnt work),
you are in a show next weekend, and for that matter you are in two,
your personal finance project made you realize how poor you are and how poor you are always going to be,
you still have no idea what you are going to do over the summer and especially not during the next school year as you live in searcy waiting on your boyfriend to graduate,

and if you are me

you are sometimes kinda stressed/anxious about these things, but sometimes are completely not.


here is to getting through the third week successfully, and continuing the success throughout my last semester of undergrad!

Lord my desire...

I want to be more like Jesus.
I long for something more out of this life and I know that everything I desire comes from being like him.
I downloaded the bible on my iPod and so far it's great. I hope it will help me be able to read and study gods word more, Whig honestly I have never been good at doing.
But I know being a servant is more than reading inspired words. It means action and application. I want all this too. I want to devote time to people who need it, to be more active with the time I have and to put more value into my relationships with people (those I know and those I don't)
Even typing this out I know it wont be an instant/easy change but hopefully I can eventually grow into someone who shines with the light of god.

Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving break was soooo great!
lots of sleep! got to see and catch up with friends!

Now its back to school and work. but only for 3 weeks. Im not sure if that makes it easier or harder.

in any case, getting back into school is never pleasant or easy, but i am sure glad to be back with everyone here! i sure do love my friends here!